On Story : Someone I Love In A Platonic Way

It’s a story about someone I love in a platonic way. He’s a prodigy violinist who fell in love with music when he was five. I think he has the most beautiful finger and prettiest smile in the world, but when he smiles there is a sad reflection on his eyes, so it's kinda hard for me while I love his smile the most. He was born in a prestigious family; his father is a diplomat while his grandfather is a politician. He never told me but I knew all along that he’s lonely. On one clear sunny day, years ago when he was just a kid, he looked up at the bright blue sky and he said, “wow It’s a just a perfect day to die isn’t it?”. I cried, I thought it's not normal for a kid to think that way, it's really worrying, just how lonely he is that he ended up having such a thought.

Fortunately, a year later, he finally found a violin and with it he tried to express his feelings through music. Even though he is the sweetest man I have ever seen, many people said he is an egoistic and self-centred guy. Two years ago, he broke up with his lover, and everyone said it was on him. While I know that he never dumped his lover, he apparently decided to end the relationship because he loved his lover too much that the anxiety he had kept piling up. He had lost himself and thought he didn’t deserve his lover. So, he tried to set his lover free because he couldn't keep up with his overwhelming feelings from his childhood. He was unloved as a kid.

I tried to tell this to all the people who were saying bad things about him, but in the end it didn’t work. After the breakup, he moved to overseas to expand his career. A few years later, I saw his Instagram post, he’s smiling at the camera with a colourful city light as a background, and I think “oh...the sad reflection…it's gone”. Alongside his departure I wish he will find someone who can understand him, someone who can make him happy and cherish him more than I do.