On Story : The Love Life Of A Hypocrite

 The Love Life of a Hypocrite

“I love you more than you’ll ever love me.”

They say “what you say is what you pray”, 

I guess that one line is something that I should’ve never said.

That holds true till this day,

I guess that one line is something that I should’ve never said.

Let’s go back to the first few days of our college life

Saw you from across the room and I’m stuck looking at your eyes

Butterflies in my stomach

But then I saw you went home with someone else, gave me some feelings that I can’t stomach

And wow, we’re in the same class

And WOW, we’re in the same group

Felt like my wishes came true

Didn’t care about the others, in my head were just me and you

I saw your smile, and I loved it

Felt like I was being hypnotized, but I loved it

Made you laugh a little

Got me feeling like the happiest person alive, life was so simple

Your friends told me that you really want to leave 

Your friends told me that you’d rather be with me

Your friends told me that it’s okay for you to cheat

Your friends told me that you’re tired of the toxicity

Feelings that I had, can no longer hide them

Feelings that I had, can no longer fight them

Asked you to be with me, with just a little hesitation you agreed

And here I go, tried to make you as happy as you can be

Spent most of my time with you

Spent most of my days with you

Did everything with you

Went everywhere with you

Happy days

Everyday

Happy place

Everywhere

The road wasn’t smooth

But we still tried our hardest to go through

Our pasts were haunting us

Our actions were haunting us

I just think that I was stupid

Thought we’re meant for each other so we’re blessed by the Cupid

Fighting every week was starting to feel like it’s a habit

Breaking up and getting back every two weeks, I really hate it

“At least I’m still with her”, in my mind I said it

But they did a lot of damage, I guess your love was slowly fading

Then my friends tried  to ship me with somebody, I was laughing like a fool

You started to believe in gossips saying I’m in love with somebody new

I tried to explain, but you don’t even want to hear the truth

I didn’t know what to do because you’re the only one I didn’t want to lose

Believed in them gossips and your friends, you decided to leave

You’re hurt, thought that you needed revenge, so you can hurt me

Met some other people, went on dates, then told me everything

Didn’t know what to say, so I said, “I love you more than you’ll ever love me”

They say “what you say is what you pray”, 

I guess that one line is something that I should’ve never said

Told me that you’re in love, told me that we’re finished

I wrote a long-ass text, too afraid to send it

Starting to think about to the future without you, afraid of what it’s going to be

Didn’t know what to say, so I said, “I love you more than you’ll ever love me”

They say “what you say is what you pray”, 

I guess that one line is something that I should’ve never said

I begged

Dropped to my knees

In my head screaming “PLEASE DON’T LEAVE”

Tears were pouring down my face, something that I didn’t want you to see

Maybe you still loved me then, and so we got back together again

Two weeks went by, I was happy, but then

We were on a date, saw you DM’ed somebody on Instagram

Kinda asked him out on a date, like we didn’t just got back together again

We got back home, and you cried, said that you’re sorry

And I cried, afraid that your love was no longer for me

And you told me that you’ll leave him, you’ll never do that again

Didn’t know what to say, so I said, “I love you more than you’ll ever love me”

They say “what you say is what you pray”, 

I guess that one line is something that I should’ve never said

Few weeks went by, suddenly you said that you’re tired of me

Bored of our relationship, I felt that you’re lying to me

Didn’t know what to do, because I couldn’t keep you here

Didn’t know what to say, so I said, “I love you more than you’ll ever love me”

They say “what you say is what you pray”, 

I guess that one line is something that I should’ve never said

Two weeks after, saw some pictures of you dating with him

Got me sad, got me mad, got me cursing, wanted to forget about them

Maybe it’s karma for what I did before

Or maybe it’s true, you reap what you sow

Got your revenge, with your friends you were laughing at me 

But my friends were saying shit, you were mad because they hit home

Told me “you deserve this”, cursing me, but what to do, I really didn’t know

Didn’t know what to say, so I said, “I love you more than you’ll ever love me”

They say “what you say is what you pray”, 

I guess that one line is something that I should’ve never said

Few months later, got a text, said “I miss you”

Surprised because it was you, but I can’t help but say “I miss you too”

Talked about our lives, how we’ve been, but I was really confused

I was sooo happy but I don’t know if you were telling the truth

We were texting every late night, every time he’s asleep and you’re alone

I was happy but I’m hurting because I’m nothing but your second home

Told me that you loved me still, but you couldn’t leave him for me

Didn’t know what to say, so I said, “I love you more than you’ll ever love me”

They say “what you say is what you pray”, 

I guess that one line is something that I should’ve never said

I tried to move on, so many times, still I’m stuck with you

I hate you, but I love you

Or maybe I hate that you left me, and love the moments we had

Or maybe I hate him, and love that you’re still in love with me

Everywhere I go, they remind me of you

Everything I see, they remind me of you

Everywhere I go, I keep on seeing you

Everywhere I see, I keep on seeing you

Now you’re engaged to be married, I guess we’ll never be together again

I’ll forget you, but I’ll never know when

I still have those butterflies, even when I’m writing this

I still can’t forget the pain, I still can’t forget your smile

I still can’t forget the moments that we had

I still can’t forget you

I wish I never said “I love you more than you’ll ever love me” sooooo many times to you

Because like a prayer, it came true.